What are you supposed do when you’ve fallen into Junkmail Hell and can’t get up?

We recently moved Greg’s mom to a care facility closer to us and now her mail is coming to us – either forwarded (mostly billing statements and utilities and others who are slower to update a mailing address through a service) or it is addressed to her with an updated address (ours). The companies that have updated their mailing addresses faster than lightning are the ones that send junk mail. Now that means ~90% of our mail is filled with political contribution solicitations (from all kinds of crazy left wing and right wing groups) and schemes preying on the elderly. Today’s mail has sent me over the edge with the amount and type of junkmail we received for my mother in law. Here are a few examples:

1. American Policy Center (has a PO Box return address). Labeled “Urgent Action Inside… The UN is Making its Move. We Stop it Now or Never!”
2. John Bolton, Former United States Ambassador to the United Nations (no return address). “Re: Barack Obama Have you heard the big news? CONFIDENTIAL”
3. Republican National Committee (has a return address). Anthony W. Parker, Treasurer.
4. Mystery sender (no return address). “Would YOU accept the $5,000 Notch Settlement as Final? (A note on a separate yellow sticky:) Mrs. DesBrisay –  Please complete the enclosed form if you or your spouse  are Notch Victims. Thank you, Larry. Your IMMEDIATE Response Requested.”
5. No organization named, but a return address is included plus a map of California. Compensation For Your Time May Be Available. Christopher A. Haines, MD (name was on the back).
6. Susan G. Komen for the Cure (return address on the back). We will find the cures for breast cancer. But how quickly is up to you! (OK – this one is a legit group that we have supported in the past, but it wasn’t addressed to us.)
7. Americans for Prosperity (with return address). “Why does Barack Obama call us the Left’s “biggest problem?”

All of these pieces of mail solicited contributions or participation in a “study.” The item from Americans for Prosperity contained an 8 page letter printed on a single side of the paper, plus a stamped envelope and “Urgent Reply Memo” soliciting money and credit card #s. Some junk mail contains scare tactics that look like it is coming from the Social Security Adminstration, when in fact it is just a solicitation for money.

The craziest piece of junk mail we received was a 12 page, double-sided letter from a psychic that included a gold coin that you, and I kid you not, were supposed to cut in half and send back to the psychic before August 12th – and this was very important, so that whatever psychic goodness she could send your way would happen after August 12th. You were requested to fill out the enclosed letter, include a check for $50, and send back the coin, cut in half, just right, so that it contained half of the crescent moon on each cut half. I had laid the coin on the table and had tossed the rest of the paper in recycle when my kids found the coin. I told them what it was about and they said you can’t even cut the coin so that it has of the crescent moon on each half because the crescent moon was printed at different angles on both sides of the coin. How many elderly people with poor eyesight are going to figure that one out?

The worst of the junk mail is addressed to Greg’s dad, who has been deceased for almost 10 years. I send that back with deceased marked on the envelope. I have also started marking anything set to my MIL with a return address, “Return to Sender.”

I’ll have to write more later on how to STOP junk mail. Leave me a comment with any tips on how you cut down on the junk mail.