I wanted to take a moment and reflect on 2013 and the things that happened during this past year. I also wanted to take a look at my resolutions or goals for this past year and see how I did. I didn’t just make resolutions in January of 2013 and never look back on them. I reviewed them periodically and looked at my progress, or in some cases, lack of progress, and modified things as I went along throughout the year.
For 2013 my goals were captured in this summary:
Themes:
- Trust, Let Go of Control & Fear; Just Be, Present
- Progress, Not Perfection
- Decisions Guided by Love, not Fear
- Writing – 15 Minutes
- Thinking – 15 minutes (meditating or sitting still)
- Walk 10,000 steps a day
I also set out to embody these things in behavior and to be more specific about what I wanted to cultivate in 2013. I devised 5 specific goals trying to lay put a path to achieve these resolutions or change in behavior.
- Be Present.
- Be Natural
- Be Neutral
- Be Current.
- Be Frugal.
I had varying degrees of success with each one of these goals.
Be Present. I think this was one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have done this year. I have dropped almost all volunteer activities and other things (that don’t really matter to me) and I concentrated on my kids and myself. This was difficult, very difficult. It is not in my nature to sit still, do nothing, be present, but I spent a lot of time this year trying to do this, to not do too many things at once (or at all), to concentrate on my kids, to hear what they are saying, to figure out what they need. It has been illuminating to watch them and be with them. It has been illuminating to do that with myself. Things are much calmer and peaceful all the way around and I want to keep things that way!
Be Natural. I really spent a lot of time planning and incorporating more natural things and food in my life this year. I used part of my commute time to plan meals, plan what I’ll eat on a daily basis, and it truly helped me eat better and more natural, nutritious food. I even started getting a farm share on a weekly basis. This particular change really helped me eat better and more natural. Getting a farm share has forced me to eat more natural foods and has led me to eat some things that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. Does that mean I eat perfectly all of the time? No, I still love chocolate, I still get a craving for something sugary around 2 pm; but, I have better strategies (like eating an orange first and then if I still want chocolate, eating a little bit) and better plans in place to keep me eating healthy 98% of the time. This effort has been a huge success this year and one that I want to keep doing, as well as the “be present.”.
Be Neutral. I wanted to treat food as a neutral and not as a reward or punishment. I think this has been one of the most transformative things I have done this year (that and stopping the negative dialogue in my head). Planning my meals and what I will eat has helped enormously. A couple of other things have helped in this thinking. The behavior coach I worked with throughout my time in the Retrofit program this year was one of the best things I could have done for myself. Jennifer said a few key things to me throughout the year that were enormously helpful in making the “be neutral” change: 1) remember guaranteed seconds, 2) there is no such thing as free food, and 3) I won’t ever tell you to not have something, I may tell you to eat less of it or not every day, but I won’t ever tell you not to have something. All three of these things helped me change how I think about food. I did lose 20 pounds this year, well, 27 to be exact, and I think it had a lot to do with this behavior change. Thank you Retrofit and Coach Jennifer for helping me with this one! I will definitely keep “being neutral.”
Be Current. I wanted to be current and authentic in my communications with others, especially my friends and family. I tried really hard to do this even though it made me anxious and sick to my stomach a lot of the time. I went on a girls weekend with two of my best friends in January 2013 and this was hugely helpful and encouraging. We had a conversation one night that was quite emotional and difficult. But, it needed to be had. I made an effort to be current with my kids and my mom and brother. This led to a much more rewarding relationship with all of them. I really liked how this made a difference in my life this year. Amid more cancer, more deaths of friends and family, this is truly what matters. I plan to keep on doing this one as well.
Be Frugal. I wanted to use cash for most everything but gas, groceries, and bills. I failed miserably with this one. I discovered I rarely use cash for anything except my kids allowance and the kid’s tutor. In fact, the only time I had cash on me or went to get it specifically, was when I needed to pay Jon for tutoring. I rarely carry cash and I only carry my phone/wallet. In thinking about this resolution or behavior change, I realized it wasn’t about the cash, it was about the need for a budget. I set one up for 2014 along with 4 savings goals and I am putting a mechanism in place to automatically do these things so I don’t have to think twice about them. What I learned in trying to make this behavior change is that I really need a specific goal and that it isn’t about cash or credit card use, it is about meeting a larger savings goal.
For the specific resolutions, it was more like feast or famine. I didn’t write or meditate for 15 minutes each day. I did both of these sporadically – sometimes every day for 2-3 weeks, then nothing for a couple of months. I find that with both of these goals, I need to do something different this year. I need to schedule time for both. I did kick butt on the 10,000 steps a day goal. I blew this one out of the water. My average step count for the day is around 12,000 steps. I love my fitbit which helps me track my steps! I think I did this goal a the expense of the other two.
I need to find a better balance with exercise, writing, and meditating. I found an exercise routine that works for me – getting up 30 minutes earlier and exercising first thing in the morning. I do this every day and it feels great. I find that I miss it if I don’t do it and that I can be cranky if it doesn’t happen first thing in the morning! I’ve read that people write first thing in the morning successfully or they meditate first thing in the morning successfully and make a long term change. I can’t do all three things first thing in the morning or I’d have to get up a lot earlier and then I might as well do boot camp if I have to get up at 5! I’ll be working on a building a better schedule for the writing and meditating this year, and I will find a way to incorporate these two things into my life. They are just that important! I will keep doing the exercise every morning because that is working and that is a great way for me to start the day, each and every day!
Overall I am really pleased with the changes I made this year and how much of an impact it has had on my life – in big ways and in little, every day, ways. Although I don’t want to see 2013 return, I am glad about how I made it through what has been a year of transformation for me. Goodbye and good riddance to 2013 and hello and welcome 2014!
