In a culture that celebrates hustle and constant output, relaxing can feel… indulgent, irresponsible, or even wrong. For high achievers—especially women—it can feel nearly impossible to shift from doing mode into being mode. But in our recent PractiGal webinar, How to Relax – Learning to Let Go and Reset, we made the case that relaxation isn’t just a reward—it’s a requirement. Alongside my guest, wellness coach Aimee Carlson, we explored the real challenges—and real benefits—of making relaxation part of your daily life.

Why Relaxation Feels Radical

We kicked things off with a simple but revealing question: When was the last time you truly relaxed—without guilt, without distraction, without multitasking?

For many of us, the answer was sobering. We’ve internalized the idea that rest must be earned or postponed until every last task is done. In midlife especially, women often find themselves shedding one season of caretaking only to inherit another: business responsibilities, aging parents, evolving identities. The pause button feels elusive. But even if we don’t give ourselves permission to pause, our bodies will eventually demand it.

Reminding us of a critical truth, Aimee said, “Our bodies are not machines—they are ecosystems.” Without regular moments of pause, reflection, and repair, the system suffers. Chronic stress keeps cortisol levels high, draining our energy and clouding our thinking. Left unchecked, that stress spills over into sleep, digestion, focus, and emotional well-being.

Reframing Rest as a Power Strategy

One of the most powerful mindset shifts we explored was this: Rest is productive. That’s not just a clever reframe—it’s a neurological fact. It’s the reason athletes schedule rest days into their training plans.

Relaxation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, pulling us out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-digest mode. Studies show that just 10 minutes of mindful breathing can reduce cortisol levels and improve cognitive performance. This is where our brains can make creative connections, our bodies can heal, and our emotional systems can recalibrate.

We talked about syncing relaxation with natural rhythms—late afternoon or early evening tends to be when our bodies naturally begin to downshift. That’s a great time to schedule a short walk, creative time, or a cup of tea on the porch. And if your stress level is high (8 or above on a 1–10 scale), it’s worth “preparing to relax” with a brain dump, gentle stretching, or deep breathing.

What Gets in the Way

We unpacked some of the most common obstacles to relaxation: guilt, internalized pressure, being constantly “on,” and the myth that multitasking somehow helps us get more done (spoiler: it doesn’t). Other internal blocks like self-judgment, comparison, people-pleasing or perfectionism can keep us from ever truly slowing down.

Aimee shared the importance of simply noticing our resistance—and allowing it. Sometimes just 90 seconds of acknowledging discomfort is all it takes for a wave of calm to follow.

We also discussed external factors: packed calendars, constant notifications, and never-ending requests. That’s where boundaries come in.

Boundaries protect your energy before burnout forces you to. They give structure to your intention to rest—and create the space for recovery to happen.

Boundaries Are the Unsung Heroes

We can’t talk about rest without talking about boundaries-especially those around our calendar. One of the most effective energy-saving boundaries I’ve ever set was deciding not to work on Fridays.

For the most part, I haven’t taken client calls or scheduled meetings on Fridays since 2014, unless I wanted to. I originally decided not to work on Fridays so I could be on the football field by 4 pm as the photographer for my boys’ football teams and so I could run errands or do something for me instead of trying to fit everything in on Saturdays when everyone else was out and about. Although, it’s not about the day—it’s about the principle: your time and energy are finite, and you get to choose how to use them.

Aimee noted that “Nature rests without apology. Why can’t we?” and then added a great framework she learned from a High Trust Psychology workshop —ARFF: Achievement, Respect, Fun, and Freedom. If you’re not getting all four, it’s time to reassess. Rest or reflection time is part of meeting those needs, not a reward for checking them off a list.

Real-World Reset Strategies

Relaxation doesn’t have to mean dropping everything for an hour. We shared small, realistic ways to build rest into your day—no week-long yoga retreat required; although, I can attest that such a week is relaxing!

Throughout the conversation, we offered simple, doable strategies to help bring calm into even the busiest days:

• Micro-resets like breathwork, stepping outside, or doing a short body scan
• Using sensory cues like warm tea or cozy socks to shift states
• Designating a relaxation corner in your home (even a chair will do)
• Pairing high-output activities with low-input or creative ones (like coloring or painting after a big presentation)

We also encouraged attendees to create a “Reset Menu”—a list of 3–5 things that help them wind down in five minutes or less. Because when stress spikes, decision-making drops. Having that list ready makes it easier to take action in the moment.

The Takeaway: Calm Is Where Your Clarity Lives

We closed with this reminder: Relaxation isn’t a luxury—it’s where your clarity lives. You can’t tap into your creativity, vision, or leadership if you’re running on fumes.

We asked participants to commit to just one thing for this week that would help them relax or reset. Among the list were taking a morning walk, journaling, playing a favorite song like Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off when things become too hectic, and sitting in the sun with their dogs. Aimee also encouraged us to eat more protein to support our body’s repair and recovery. Whatever they chose, the goal was the same: make space for calm, so everything else can flow.

If you’re still figuring out how to build rest and relaxation into your real life, you’re not alone. This work is ongoing—and worth it.

To help you get started, we’ve created a free companion worksheet with the questions, ideas, and strategies we covered in the session—including space to create your own Reset Menu.

Sonya L. Sigler is an executive coach, business strategist, and author of 30 Days to Better Self-Care. She helps high-achieving women align their time, energy, and priorities to lead with clarity—without burning out. Learn more at practigalcoaching.com

 

 

 

 

Aimee Carlson is a certified life and wellness coach and founder of She Force Coaching. Learn more at sheforcecoaching.com.