I read a lot of books last year. Some of which I wish I hadn’t wasted my time reading and some I wanted to reread. Some of these books have stuck with me and I have recommended them to others. The list here contains the books that made a big impact on me in 2013. I had a hard time narrowing down the list!
Biographies
I love biographies and autobiographies. I read a ton of these as a kid. I had a chance to meet Justice Sonia Sotomayor at the beginning of 2013 and it was a pleasure to read her autobiography as well as a few others this year.
My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor. I loved this book. Justice Sotomayor is an amazing storyteller. She talked about her drive to be better and to learn and the awkwardness in not belonging. She talked about her alcoholic father and not wanting to have friends over because you never knew what you were going to get when you got home. She shared her trait of self-reliance to a fault, to where relationships couldn’t thrive because of that fierce self-reliance. She shared her desire for justice and her journey as a lawyer and judge. All of which made me sob through the second half of the book. There were some harsh messages in there that I needed to hear and that I still need to do more work around, like being seen and being vulnerable. I definitely need to reread this book.
If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won’t) by Betty White. I love Betty White and her work as an actress and see her and her work ethic as a strong role model. My favorite role that she played was in Boston Legal with James Spader. She was hysterical and entertaining. Her book was entertaining and interesting. She is a great animal lover, which I admire. She also said one thing that sticks with me. She weighed herself almost every day and her weight has never varied by more than 1-2 pounds, up or down. She said if it did, she cut one thing out (but never her cocktail before dinner). It was a great reminder that a little vigilance can go a long way.
Mom & Me & Mom and Letter to My Daughter – Maya Angelou. Both of these books were similar and there was a little overlap between the two, but Maya Angelou is a good writer and I liked listening to her read these books. It struck me that we need to get out of our own way sometimes. Like, most of the time. She loved to dance and it took a long time for her to work that into her life. We need to do the things, activities, and be with people that bring out the best in ourselves and not be deterred by people who try to get in our way, even if it is our self that is getting in the way.
Cronkite by Douglas Brinkley. I loved reading about Walter Cronkite and his relentless drive to deliver the news, find a scoop, and beat others to a story. The part about Barbara Walters beating him at his own game was hilarious. What had the most impact in reading about his life was the influence the media has on people and the downhill slide we have been in for the last 40 years. The trustworthiness of the media has all but disappeared. The bombardment of news and information from so many differing media outlets leads to information overload and a tuning out of all of the messages. What a shame that is. What discourse we could have if we had true information instead of opinion and conjecture labeled as news.
Self-Help
I’m transitioning to a different life (married to unmarried) and I did a ton of soul searching over the last three years but especially a lot over the last year. A couple of books really made a difference in how I see myself, how I see some things in the world, and how I react to things and proactively try to interact with people.
The Power of Now (A Guide to Spiritual Development) and A New Earth (Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose) by Eckhart Tolle. These books and his audio collection were interesting to me as a philosophy major. They were also interesting in describing the need to be present, which is one of the main things I wanted to work on this past year. I have a terrible habit of always looking forward or dwelling on some terrible thing that happened in the past. But, I rarely savor the present. Eckhart Tolle said one thing that I thought was funny at the time, but really made sense and I’ve thought it about it a lot since. He used an example of an animal on the hunt and he said that the animal would never stop in mid-hunt to worry about how they look, or what others thought about them, they would just hunt. I found this to be a good guidebook on how to be present and how to let go of everything else and observe. I have definitely tried to be present every day, in meetings, with my kids, talking to a friend. I’ve tried to stop multi-tasking (this is a work in progress) and just be in the moment. It’s definitely resulted in slowing down this year.
5 Conversations to Have With Your Sons by Vicki Courtney. Although I liked the messages in this book over all, I found it to be a bit too preachy and religious for me. It seemed like if you weren’t preaching God’s message you weren’t raising your kids right. But I did like the fact that they instilled important things in their kids by living it and talking about it. Having three boys and hearing some of the things that come out of their mouths, this book was an important wake up call, and showed me that I have some work to do with them still.
The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman. This book describes 5 ways that people like to be shown love – from gifts to quality time to touch to acts of service. I wish I had read this book as a teen or young adult. I wish I had even had conversations with my parents about things like this (how to show love to someone else) but nope, didn’t happen. So I am coming to this message now. Better late than never. I have definitely incorporated this into conversations with my kids.
Chick Lit
I read a bunch of fun, fluffy books that I can only categorize as Chick-Lit. These books generally don’t appeal to me but sometimes I just needed a quick, fun read. What I took away from these books is be yourself and have confidence in yourself and who you are. I think we can all use that message.
Low Country – Anne Rivers Siddons. This book was about a mom who lost her daughter and was on a journey to come back to the land of the living. While I haven’t lost a child, reading this book was hard for me. What a journey it must be to recover from the grief of losing a child. One of Greg’s cousin had a child the same day as Bryce who died of SIDS. I think about that every once in awhile how hard that must have been. I think about what it would be like to lose a child in moments like the ones where my son lies on the football field not moving in what could be a football career ending concussion. This was definitely an emotional book.
Pictures of You – Caroline Leavitt – This book was about a car collision on a backcountry road that leads to a love affair with the people left behind. This book is a reminder that everything can change in the blink of an eye and that you never really know what another person is thinking or doing.
I’ve Got Your Number and Twenties Girl – Sophie Kinsella – The first book is about a girl picking up a cell phone and the owner’s boss trying to get it back and the relationship that develops through texts and calls. These books were of a similar ilk to the Bridget Jones Diary series: funny, entertaining, and about being yourself instead of who you think you should be. My life has been a pile of “shoulds” and I’m getting over that now. Twenties Girl was similar but had an historical twist of a deceased aunt and her love of the 20’s. I loved the creativity of this story and the interweaving of history, mystery, and a love story. I loved the idea of writing such a creative story.
Historical Fiction:
The Paris Wife – Paula McLain. I loved this historical fiction about Ernest Hemingway and his first wife, Hadley Richardson. In this fictional account of their time in Paris during the Jazz age and it is base don the hundreds of letters they wrote to each other. It shows the passion and loyalty they had for each other even though they ended up breaking up and marrying others. It shows that sometimes we just can’t get out of our own way and do the right thing.
Hattie Big Sky – Kirby Larson. I loved this historical fiction account of a homesteader and the trials and tribulations of making the land work for you or is it you working the land? I liked the pluckiness of the main character who was modeled after the author’s grandmother. I liked that Hattie didn’t give up and even though the homesteading didn’t turn out the way she thought, she succeeded with humor and grace and hard work. She started a new dream and went after that.
A untitled book by an anonymous (soon to be famous) writer. I had the great pleasure of reading my friend Ellen’s novel, twice, in fact, because I read a revised version of it later in the year. I feel so lucky and grateful to have been able to read her book and give comments on it. I loved the historical fiction and the character’s that are living inside her head and who are coming alive as she writes her novel(s). I am so proud of her for having the fortitude and focus this year to sit down and write it, revise it, and share it. I also had the opportunity to visit her twice and share some good times and excellent conversations as we had a girl’s spa weekend and a knitting weekend. Most of all I am glad that I can see a “writing path” forward for her and that I can be a part of it.
Non-Fiction:
How to Be Danish – Patrick Kingsley. My grandmother is Danish so we have had a lot of Danish traditions in our family celebrations and life. I had the opportunity to travel to Denmark with my mom this year. It was our first trip together, by ourselves, since I was in high school and she traveled to Germany to see me when I was an exchange student. I read this book after our visit (although I wish I would have read it beforehand because some of the things we saw in museums would have made more sense). I loved this book. It was a good explanation of why Denmark is the way it is now – socialist but for good reason. Everyone informs himself so they can participate in a discussion of what to do, what to decide, and what to vote. Everyone pays into a system and everyone participates in that system, whether it is using a transportation system, the education system, or welfare/unemployment. It works because everyone pays in and everyone benefits. Where a system like that starts to break down is when people use the benefits but they don’t pay into the system. (That would be more like what we have in the US.) But what I really liked about this book is that it put into context a lot of things that I see in my family and our family traditions. It was like coming home and finding a comfortable spot to rest.
Nurtureshock – Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman. The education of our kids and the next generation is so important. This book explained a few myths in parenting like how our need to praise kids is backfiring and leading to a bunch of entitled, ungrateful kids, and other topics like the amount of sleep kids need to put their brains in order to learn and the lack of sleep they are getting now with over scheduling and homework loads. I had some interesting conversations with my boys about the things in this book!
In Defense of Food – Michael Pollan. This book was about real food, not processed food, not food with added “nutrients” that aren’t really or even actually nutritious. It was about eating food, mostly plants, as close to its natural state as possible. It was about growing your own food. Eat food that hasn’t been processed. I’ve been trying to do this more for the past year and I feel so much better eating real food. My body is healthier and more energetic eating real food. I taste food more now. I feel fuller now. I crave sugar less, almost not at all now. I can’t say enough about real food. Michael Pollan’s book is a good read and a good wake up call.
The Secret Lives of Wives – Iris Krasnow and Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth About Men and Sex – Abraham Morgentaler. These two books were interesting about the psychology of relationships and how each person needs to take responsibility for their own part in the relationship. Although the Secret Lives of Wives book left me feeling like “doesn’t everyone have her own hobbies and interests?” It struck me that not everyone does and not everyone carves out time for them and spouses don’t necessarily respect this need. The Why Men Fake It book really threw me for a loop and I’ve really been thinking a lot about how people relate to each other and how they share such intimate doubts and desires. It shows that relationships are amazingly fragile yet resilient things to be nurtured.
One article:
Six Words You Should Say Today. I read this article in the middle of football season. It had a profound impact in the way I interact with my kids over sports. I shut my mouth. I don’t yell at games anymore. I don’t coach. I just say supportive words, starting with, “I love to watch you play.” Or, “I’m really glad I got to watch you play (soccer/football/basketball) today.”
One blog:
The Bully Too Close to Home. I read this thinking something completely different was about to be discussed, but the title makes perfect sense after reading the article. This article (and book that just came out) was about how one woman treated her children and she realized it was how she treated herself and that it was destructive to both her self and her children. The negative, berating voice inside your head needs to change, the inner dialogue needs to change. I’ve worked really hard over the last year to change that inner voice around food and weight, but I see I have a long ways to go, especially in how I treat myself and how I treat my kids. What a journey. “Stop. Only love today.”
I am glad I was able to foster my love of reading this year by finding a way to read and exercise at the same time. It made me look forward to both. Leave me a note and let me know what books you have read and what stayed with you recently.
